


1944 - Any girl would be stupid not to.

by yourbucky221B



Series: Do you feel it too? 1937-1945 [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky doesn't want to talk about it, Drinking in a bar again, Jealousy, M/M, Or Is he?, PTSD, Peggy Carter mentioned - Freeform, Pining, Realisations, TFA set, Unrequited Love, steve is oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-06 01:58:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11590620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourbucky221B/pseuds/yourbucky221B
Summary: Part 1 in a collection of short fics about Steve and Bucky from 1937-1945.Steve would look at her with his big baby blues and give her a soft crooked smile. Bucky’s heart clenches at the thought and he throws back the rest of his drink in one shot.He wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t. He-Who was he kidding?





	1944 - Any girl would be stupid not to.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this ages ago and decided to finally post this considering I have all the parts for this collection written!
> 
> I love writing little snippets into their relationship and all the moments that might have happened that they never talked about or didn't even know about. So here's part one. 
> 
> Enjoy!

    There are those sayings that say you don’t always realise what you have, even if it’s right in front of you. But Bucky knew and had always known what was right in front of him. He knew what he had, and what he couldn’t have. From the first moment he’d laid eyes on that sandy blond hair, those big baby blues and frail frame, he’d known.  That Steve Rogers was a rare thing and he was lucky to be his friend. Steve was strong in ways that Bucky wasn’t, ways that he wishes he was. But Steve was weak in other ways and Bucky had known and prepared himself for the worst at every turn over the years. He’d gone through the years knowing that he could lose Steve from just a cold winter’s night. That an asthma attack could take Steve away any day now.  So he knew better than anyone what it was to realise what was in front of you. 

    Things were different now. Steve wasn’t going to die from a cold, pneumonia or an asthma attack. He didn’t need Bucky there night and day to feed him hot chicken broth –if he could get hold of some chicken- and press a cool damp cloth to his forehead when the fever got too high. If anything, Bucky was more at risk at getting sick than Steve now, and it unnerved him. He felt like he didn’t know where he stood in Steve’s life now. Steve who was now as big and strong as his heart and morals. 

    So maybe that was why he felt his stomach flip unpleasantly at the way Steve smiled at Peggy Carter. How his jaw clenched at the look she returned. She had a place with this new Steve, she was strong and good like Steve. And Bucky knew that she had had her eyes on Steve even before the serum which had turned him into ‘Captain America’. 

    “What do you think of Agent Carter?” Steve asked, hands cradling his drink.

    They were sat at the bar in the small pub near the London SSR base. They’d been here a week now, gathering intelligence, making new plans, regrouping before they headed back to the frontlines. They’d bumped into Peggy two nights before when she’d walked in, dressed to the nines in a deep red and notifying Steve that Howard Stark wanted to see him the next morning. Every head had turned to look at her, but Bucky couldn’t tear his gaze away from Steve’s face. The slight blush that tinted his cheeks and the way he stifled a smile on his lips. Bucky felt his stomach drop and he drained his glass quickly. 

    “What ‘bout her?”

    Steve turned his head to look at Bucky who was staring straight down at his glass. He furrowed his brow and then his lips curled to repress a smile, “Y’know…d’ya think she likes me?”

    Bucky almost rolled his eyes, “Of course she does. Any girl would be stupid not to.”

    “She’s a great gal, isn’t she?” Steve said. Bucky knew that it was less of a question than it sounded so he just hummed in reply. But Steve wasn’t satisfied.

    “I’m going to ask her to dinner tomorrow night. Colonel Phillips said we won’t be shipping back out for a few more days at the least,” Bucky just nods in reply as Steve continues, “There’s swell bar down the street, d’ya think she’ll like it?”

    Bucky can see them, sat opposite each other at a small table in the barely lit bar. Peggy’s hair curled perfectly around her face, lips painted red and those dark eyes framed with her dark lashes. Steve with his hair combed back as well as he can, uniform immaculate, that embarrassed smile on his lips as he looks up at her from under his lashes. She would reach for his hand across the table and smile. Steve wouldn’t know whether to kiss her goodnight but she would grab his tie and tug him forward, pressing their lips together softly. Steve would look at her with his big baby blues and give her a soft crooked smile. Bucky’s heart clenches at the thought and he throws back the rest of his drink in one shot. 

    He wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t. He-

    Who was he kidding? He’d been jealous of Peggy Carter the moment he’d seen Peggy Carter. The moment she’d stepped up to Steve and Bucky had watched as Steve only had eyes for her. He was jealous because she was amazing and Bucky would have tried it on with her if he wasn’t- 

    “Bucky?” 

    He snapped his head up and blinked, “Sorry,”

    Steve smiled gently and then his brow furrowed, “You okay, Buck?”

    Bucky looked into his eyes and licked his lips before biting them, “Yeah, I’m fine. Why you ask?” 

    “You’ve never talked about… what they did to you. Hydra.”

    Bucky flinched at the reminder. He didn’t want Steve to worry about him. There was nothing to worry about. The nightmares that haunted him about Hydra were lessening. Thanks to Steve. However, Bucky had yet to shake the consuming feeling of having Hydra bend his mind almost to breaking point. He’d lost so much of who he was. That carefree kid who tried his best to look after and provide for Steve was no longer there. He could tell. The war had hardened him, had destroyed any optimism. Hydra had pushed and pulled at his defences, and Bucky had exerted himself in the effort to resist. 

   “Not much to talk about, Stevie. I’m here. I’m alive.” He gestured to the bartender for another glass and looked at Steve from the corner of his eye, “Takes more than a few Nazis to get to me.”

    “But it was more than a few Nazis, Buck.” Steve leaned forward on the bar, lowering his head closer to Bucky’s, “I’m worried. I have every right to be, Bucky. Torture and experimentation isn’t something I’m going to brush over. Not when it comes to you.”

   Bucky turned his head, his stomach twisted at the concern on Steve’s face. God, what he would do right now to be able to tell all. To get everything off his chest. Every feeling, every secret he’d held for years. The one secret that no one else knew. The one secret which had had Bucky gritting his teeth when he had to say goodbye to Steve before he shipped out.

    “There he is!”

    They both jumped as Dugan clapped them on the backs, moving apart and breaking the small bubble they’d created. 

    “I’m going to buy you two a drink! Hey! Two beers for my friends!”

    Steve looked at Bucky with an apologetic smile and then turned to respond Dugan who had asked something. Bucky looked down at his hands. No confessions tonight it would seem. Or any night. God, if people knew how many times he’d almost said it. Almost confessed. Bucky felt his throat close up and his stomach twist. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to think it. There was no point hiding it from himself. 

_     You’re in love with him.  _

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked that!  
> I've uploaded parts 2 and 3 as well so you can keep going if you want! Please drop me a review/comment below!!


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